Happy Hump day lovelies! Before we begin our gabfest about date number 4, let me school ya on this outfit. This Chicwish skirt is another one of my faves from their site. The pale pink color is so pretty and the skirt is lightweight which is perfect for spring and summer. I LOVE the criss cross detail of this tee. It dresses it up a little to make it more fancy than a plain white tee. You can’t go wrong with a denim jacket to complete the look. A denim jacket is one staple I always have in my closet. Last, I wore my fave Tory Burch Miller sandals and these super fun Quay Australia sunnies. I love the retro look to these glasses and the pale pink trim! So cute for summer!
Dating Diaries: Episode 4
Sit back, relax, and get ready to say “WTF” in your head multiple times. Number 4 was a Match.com find. His profile made him come across as very intelligent. I don’t know about you all but, I for one, find intelligence very sexy. So, that was a major score in my book. Anywho, we did the whole formal courtship of email, text, etc. and then set the date. The meeting place was Margaritas. Well, the name alone makes my mouth water bc, “HELLO?” margs and guac….umm sign me up!!! I was really looking forward to this date because the convo so far had been stellar. I mean, ya gotta be able to have great convo to keep the first date train chugging, don’t ya? I slipped on some pretty wedges, and a flowy top and set out to maybe meet Prince Charming. I walked into the bar and took a quick sweep of the place. I cringed when I saw a guy waving at me. Why you ask? You know how guys always complain that girls don’t look like their pics online? Umm, yeah, it works the other way around too. This guy was AT LEAST 40 lbs heavier than ANY of his pics. Oh and guess what else? He was rockin’ a pair of elastic waist sweatpants. You heard me right, elastic waist Hanes. Just let that sink in for a hot minute. I thought about sprinting out of there, but I figured, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. I sat down and quickly ordered a marg, which was an absolute necessity at that point. We talked for a few and decided we should get an app or two. After he ate the pretty much all of the chips, taquitos AND queso…he was apparently still hungry. He asked if I minded if he ordered himself dinner. I gave him the go ahead, but then quickly regret set in. Have you ever watched the Discovery Channel? Like, the kind of episodes where an animal devours food like it is their last meal? Well, that was date number 4. He not only proceeded to order one meal, but TWO. TWO.WHOLE.ENTREES. He cleaned those plates in 3.5 secs. I mean the man barely came up for air. I quietly sipped my marg thinking “three strikes buddy, you’re out!” Time was standing still. Finally, by the grace of God, he finished his feeding frenzy. We made a little small talk and I asked him if it took him long to drive to the restaurant. His reply, “No my RV is parked right up the road at the trailer park.” Sayyyyyy whaaaaaaaaaatt? Like, what the actual eff? You didn’t think it was kind of an important detail that you are a nomad wanderer who lives in an RV? Omg. As if the first three strikes weren’t enough. Thank the lord, that the check came sooner than later because I couldn’t wait to skip out like a kid on the last day of school. Date number 4….I’m not a gypsy. I do not have even a tiny shred of want to live in a RV. I know for darn sure that Prince Charming isn’t living in a house on wheels. RV: REALLY VERY disappointed that Prince Charming hasn’t graced me with his presence at this point. Maybe, I should send out an APB.
Pro Dating Tip #4:
Recipe to NEVER get a second date:
Step 1. Wear elastic waist Hanes sweats
Step 2. Order 2 full entrees and eat them in 3.5 secs
Step 3. Use pics from 40 lbs ago
Step 4. Live in an RV